We’d been sitting on the rampant Jessica Simpson dating rumors this week. They just didn’t smell right.

If one believes all the stories showing up in newspapers and online, she’s a busy little thing. Maybe that 5 Factor Diet gives her extra energy, in addition to leaving her super cut and steely.

This week alone we’ve got stories swirling that Dane Cook and Jess were seen canoodling at the Prince concert at the Hollywood Roosevelt.

Later, reports surfaced that at that same purple concert, she was seen romantically accompanied trainer to the stars Harley Pasternak, who is responsible for the fitness program cited for Simpson’s rapid physical transformation.

Now…the buzz about Jake Gyllenhaal and Jess having mutual crushes on each other is building to a crescendo with reports that they’re already in love, and that she visited him at the Beverly Wilshire a couple weeks ago.

Next thing you know there will be pregnancy claims or pending adoptions. Whatever it takes to divert our attention from the stench coming from Simpson’s rotting movie, Bombed…oops… Blonde Ambition.

What we actually smell is a rat.

A publicity-hound rat.

Around here, we call that spotlight-seeking rodent Papa Joe.

Wonder what’s next. A surprise reunion with John Mayer. How about tales of a threesome with Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo?