Shia LaBeouf Has a Small Penis

Shia LaBeouf told Playboy in a interview for their upcoming issue about his first time sleeping with a girl:

"I was shaking in my boots."

"Getting n*ked was very strange. It was the first time I’d been naked in the light, in front of a girl, with no hiding place."

"I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a p*rn movie. It put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed … and clearly this wasn’t the move."

"We had a lot of sex and would read the Kama Sutra together and do the wildest sh*t."

Lucky for Shia, this girl dated him for a while, and gave him some instruction on how to use his tool. She probably told him "size doesn’t matter, it’s how you use it that counts." Unfortunately it sounds like Shia still doesn’t know how to use it very well, because he can’t seem to keep a girlfriend around for long.

In a previous interview Shia talked about his intimate feelings for his mother:

"Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother. She’s an ethereal angel. Nobody looks like that woman. If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren’t my mother, as sick as that sounds."

A mother doesn’t care how well endowed you are, she’ll love you just the same.

I wonder if Shia thinks opening up in these interviews will makes girls more attracted to him, because he’s so sensitive.