Paris Hilton is Dating Tyler Atkins and Making Another Album

Paris Hilton is dating 21-year-old t-shirt designer Tyler Atkins from Australia. His label, Rock Stars and Angels, is available in trendy L.A. boutiques like Kitson. Paris and her new boy toy were spotted on the sand outside the Polaroid Beach House in Malibu on Saturday "making out like teenagers." Here’s a little tid bit from an interview with rocket scientist Tyler:

"She’s like a full pill-popper … she brought out these pills and because I was drunk I went, ’Yeah, f_ _ k it – I’ll just have one. Why not? And she gave me like four of these pills that were like Vicodin; they were like Rohypnols or something. Heavy, heavy."

"And she drugged me, this famous chick. … I woke up in her spa bath with her and her best friend. We were in the spa bath, full-on threesome."

"And then I don’t remember anything else. I remember waking up at 5 o’clock in the afternoon in between them both … I couldn’t find my clothes in the whole house. [I was] just tripping, just going, ’What did this girl give me?’ It was gnarly, eh?"

"I couldn’t find my clothes. I got dropped down on Sunset Blvd. … I had no minutes left on my phone, so I couldn’t call anyone. Looking like a freak in girls’ clothes."

If you’ve ever seen a movie called Fast Times at Ridgemont High with Sean Penn playing a perpetually stoned pot head, then you’ll easily recognize that Tyler is his twin brother. Click here to see a clip. Back then Sean (Jeff Spicolli) could say “Man, those guys are Fags!,” and he didn’t have his career threatened for saying a Gay slur. How times have changed. Tyler’s living the American dream. Despite having only one brain cell he is still successful as a T-Shirt designer. Fast forward another twenty years and imagine Tyler as President of the United States of America and Paris as his first lady. It could happen, only in America. Click here to see what looks like Sean Penn trying out for the part he played in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

There’s more, despite one failed album Paris Hilton is apparently working on a new album and tells E! Online:

"I’m already working on my new record. I’ve been in meetings with Scott [Storch] and we’ve been working on it. I’ve been working on it with Scott for a few weeks."

So much for the good causes Paris said she’d be working on. LIAR! And apparently she’s taking it seriously. An insider says she’s been taking voice lessons and is determined to make her music career succeed. The insider says:

"She takes voice lessons several times a week. She’s really serious about her music career. Of all her projects, her music is the most important to her. She really works very hard to be taken seriously in the industry and make good music people will enjoy."

We need another Paris album like we need another plague.

Listen below to hear Paris butcher Rod Stewart’s “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” My ears are bleeding.

Click here to listen to the MP3.