Paris Hilton Hates Sarah Silverman but Jail More

Paris Hilton was embarrassed at the MTV awards the other night (see video here) by Sarah Silverman. Get your sleeping pill ready and brace yourself, because Paris can’t take a joke. I was so shocked myself. After being humiliated by Sarah, Paris said,

"She’s a f_ _ king b_tch. I hate her."

Paris can blame Sarah all she wants, but what about the thousands of other real stars in the crowd that laughed themselves sick? Sarah is my new hero. I heard she can run faster than a speeding train, leap over tall buildings, and catch a bullet in her teeth too.

Before entering jail Paris Hilton DID have to undergo a body cavity search as part of the booking process at the jail. I hope the guard who did the search triple gloved, and washed her hands in gasoline, because she’s likely to have caught some sort of horrible disease that makes T.B. Andy’s look like a mild cold.


Dr. Charles Sophy, the Beverly Hills therapist who has been treating Paris for the past eight months, entered the jail with Hilton’s lawyer, Richard A. Hutton, Tuesday and stayed for about two hours. Those are the only visitors Paris has had so far. Only professionals are allowed to see inmates during the week; visiting hours for family and friends begin on the weekend.

A source says, "Paris cries all day. She looks unwashed, she has no makeup and her hair is tangled. She cried audibly through the first two nights."

If they did a live televised a video feed following every moment of Paris’ incarceration it would probably break most watched records. People would probably forget to eat, or sleep, or even go to work. There might even be world peace, and if that happened the President would have to Pardon her, and the Pope would make her a saint.