Paris Hilton Has Herpes Medical Records Prove

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Say what you want about Paris Hilton, but she’s got class. A lot of guys look up to her when they’re eating, and a lot of girls can totally relate. As everyone knows by now Paris forgot to pay her storage unit bill, and so all her stuff was auctioned off, and is now available for viewing at parisexposed.com.

There have been a lot of rumors about Paris, like she drinks, and suddenly we hear she was charged with a DUI. Oh shocking! There are rumors of drugs, and pictures emerge showing Paris with pot in her purse, and of her taking a hit off a pot pipe. One rumor a lot of guys, and possibly girls, that have partnered with Paris in the past, have been hoping is not true, is that Paris has HERPES.

Thanks once again to that storage locker which held more secrets that the chest in Raiders of the Lost Ark, a medical record/prescription info insert emerged for a drug called Valtrex, which is used to treat outbreaks of genital herpes. You’ve no doubt seen the commercials, and even the SNL spoof Alec Baldwin did for Valtrex.

As it is turning out, all those sordid rumors about Paris are indeed true, as is the rumor that Paris has no discernable talent, but looking at her self earned bank account, you’d never know it. America is one of the few places in the world where you can become filthy rich, even if you’re filthy, and have no talent. God Bless America.

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