Tiger Woods (34) is scheduled to issue a public apology, and talk about his return to Golf. Tiger’s agent, Mark Steinberg, and his spokesman, Glenn Greenspan said:

"Tiger Woods will be speaking to a small group of friends, colleagues and close associates … at the TPC Sawgrass Clubhouse in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida. Tiger plans to discuss his past and his future and he plans to apologize for his behavior. Tiger feels as though it’s time to make amends and to publicly do that."

The big question is whether Elin Nordegren will be there to support Tiger. Elin is a man beater, so I’m going to say no Elin won’t be there.

Morgan Freeman (72) and Shia LaBeouf (23) have something in common, they both injured their left hand in a car accident while drinking and driving. Note the glove on Freeman’s left hand. Freeman’s hand is paralyzed, while LaBeouf almost lost several fingers which may also be paralyzed at least to some extent. Freeman said Wednesday:

"I suffered nerve damage and it hasn’t gotten better. I can’t move it. If you don’t move your hand, it will swell up. Do you know you move your hand about a million times a day?”

Did you know people who get into car accidents while intoxicated, and have only a paralyzed hand after the accident, are still lucky they aren’t dead?

It appears Lady Gaga was wearing something to make her look like a hermaphrodite, so she could create some controversy. I’ve just uncovered a photo of Gaga that proves she really is a girl, and not a hermaphrodite.

Elton John is always trying to make gay the center of attention. This time he claims Jesus was gay:

“I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don’t know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East, you’re as good as dead.”

Jesus had a mother, we know that. The story says Jesus’ father was God, not Joseph, who would technically be his step dad, because Mary, Jesus’ mother, was a virgin when she got pregnant, making the story amazing, and unbelievable at the same time. Elton likes controversy, and he knows there is no way to prove that Jesus was either heterosexual or homosexual, because the stories about him talk as if he dedicated his life only to people, and never had any sort of sexual relationship with anyone, a man or a woman, so on that point Elton is wrong.

I’m not surprised that Elton is attacking religion, since being gay hasn’t exactly been accepted by any religion until only recently, which is itself hypocrisy since we learned over the past few decades there were an unusually large number of male homosexual pedophile priests in many religions, especially Catholicism. I’d like to hear Elton say something derogatory about the prophet and founder of Islam Muhammad, but that will never happen, because Elton knows the Christians might speak out and forgive him over time, but the Muslims will announce a reward for whoever kills him. Picking on Jesus after he is dead is also really convenient for Elton, because he can’t go on Fox News to dispute Elton’s claims about his sexuality. On those points Elton is a coward with a big hateful mouth.

Mathew Knowles, father of Beyonce Knowles, was ordered by a judge to pay child support to Alexsandra Wright unless a DNA test proves he is not the father of a baby by named Nixon who was born on February 4.

Lance Spiefel, the lawyer for Mathew, says Mathew already paid $10,000 for hospital related costs.

A DNA test will be performed on March 1.

Wright claims she had an 18 month affair with Mathew which he has not denied.