Nicole Richie to Tell All to Diane Sawyer

Nicole Richie will go one-on-one with ABC’s Diane Sawyer next week, speaking for the first time since rumors started swirling that she is pregnant. Richie’s interview will air in two segments on Good Morning America, August 2 and 3, as well as on 20/20, August 3.

Sawyer will probably also ask about Richie’s August 16 court date for her December 2006 DUI arrest, where, as a repeat offender, she could face 90 days to one year in jail.

Expect Richie to dodge, deny, and lie when asked the important, and interesting questions. What else is interesting about her other than the fact that she’s a criminal who got pregnant in an effort to avoid jail for her second DUI? I’d rather see Richie get interviewed by a bear that dances with her, asks her a few questions, then finish the segment by eating her. Richie could get me interested if she televised giving birth. The half hour special would start with her walking around holding her belly, practicing her breathing, and cursing at Joel Madden for doing this to her. Then she gladly accepts the pain killers, and requests a candy dish with more assorted pills to help her through the pain. Finally she lifts up her shirt and pulls out the pillow, and the show closes with tears of joy running down everyone’s face.