Nicole Richie Sentenced to 4 Days Jail

Nicole Richie pleaded guilty to driving under the influence of drugs and was sentenced to serve four days in her choice of city or county jail. She was credited the fifth day for the six hours she served after being arrested. She was also fined $2,048 and ordered to complete a 21 day alcohol education course, and to serve three years probation.

This seems a little harsh, after all Richie’s only crime was breaking the law. You have to kill at least two people to get any significant jail time. Too bad she didn’t get her DUI in Texas where they put you to death for having an overdue library book.

In light of this decison I’d just like to say, Kickass! Drunk driving is almost legal again! Take that M.A.D.D.! Now excuse me, I’m going to go celebrate by driving 50 laps around the Glendale police station as fast as I can while doing bong hits, Jaeger shots, and squealing my tires.