Lindsay Lohan was questioned by police after she brought several men to an all-night party, and the owners reported to police that those men stole valuable jewlry. She then left town to avoid looking suspicious. Police say she is not a suspect, which seems like the same old great police work we’ve become accustomed to.
Tomorrow’s headline: “Police arrest Lindsay Lohan for pawning stolen jewelry.”
Thursday’s headline: “Lindsay faces 3 years in state prison.”
Friday’s headline: “Judge orders Lindsay to serve 2 hours of community service for theft.”
Monday’s headline: “Lohan fails to show up for community service, judge says ‘Close enough.’”