Lindsay Lohan is Not Dead - Yet

Posted on September 25, 2007 at 2:22 pm (PST)

The Canterbury Institute is illegally using Lindsay Lohan’s name in a "DON’T DIE LINDSAY!" ad to get attention. Right now they treat non-celebrities that don’t pay well, so they’d like to remedy that by attracting celebrities so they can jack up their rates. If you want to attract celebrities might I suggest offering massages, private rooms, condoms and lube, unsupervised day passes good for up to 3 days, and drug tests that are answered as a "yes" or "no" question to the rehab guest.

This weekend Lindsay will be leaving rehab. While in rehab she was caught having sex, and in possession of drugs. Plus, she was named in a divorce case for having an alleged affair with one of her fellow rehab mates, who happens to be married to a woman whose family is worth over $1 billion dollars. When she gets out I’m sure she’ll summarize rehab as "b-o-r-i-n-g."