Kirsten Dunst Got Robbed

Kirsten Dunst’s suite at the Soho Grand Hotel was robbed by two burglars after she left to go film a scene for her new movie. Thieves stole a $13,000 handbag, wallets, cash, cameras, and an iPod. Here’s more:

Beinerman took a guest elevator to the floor below Dunst’s suite and then took a freight elevator up to the penthouse level.

There, Beinerman allegedly walked through an open door into the penthouse and stole items belonging to Dunst and her companions, including $2,500, a Marc Jacobs purse, wallets containing IDs and credit cards, several bags - including one by Balenciaga - two digital cameras, a cellphone and an iPod, records state.

I put up the picture of Kiki covering her face to keep your face from melting off, so you’re welcome. Authorities caught at least one of the thieves. I hope they checked those cameras carefully to make sure no pictures are missing, because it could become a nationally emergency. The process of reviewing the pictures requires a special welding helmet that is 5 times darker than the current standard, to keep inspectors from going blind while looking at Kiki. The weird part was when they viewed the playlist on her iPod, it was blank and there were no songs on it, but she still bee-bops around to the music playing in her head. I’m not trying to put down Kiki the freaky, but once she joined match.com and they had to shut down the site for 24 hours while the FBI located her, and smashed her computer and web cam to make sure the public was not exposed to her face. She even has a secret service detail that follows her around to make sure terrorists don’t kidnap her and use her face as a weapon of mass destruction.