Katie Couric Tries to Boost Ratings

This is why America loves Katie Couric so much that her show is last in the ratings. She’s an ex cheerleader who loves to bowl.

Katie has the wrong people advising her. It’s easy to remake her image. Let’s try…

First she’s bowling. Woohoo! She’s just a regular gal. Wrong! Turn that into zexy Katie. Katie loves big balls, and can’t keep her hands off them. See? Now you’ve got male viewer’s interest.

Second, Katie has a cute smile, she’s a little chunky, and she’s a mom. Wrong! Dye her hair blond, give her a face lift, a breast lift, liposuction plus some Jenny Craig, plump up her lips, put her in a low cut dress, have her talk like she’s a little bit ditsy, and spread word she’s having an affair with Matt Lauer. Now you’ve now got the attention of male and female viewers. A dramtic beautiful b_tch would send ratings soaring.

I know, I know, I’m a P.R. genius, but don’t forget I’m handsome too.