Esquire magazine declares that Charlize Theron is the "sexiest woman alive." These guys are a bit creepy. Take a look at how they describe her. Esquire says:

CLOSE ON CHARLIZE’s face. Her eyes hold the gaze of the camera directly, disarmingly. When she was younger, she looked like she knew she was hot. Now she looks like a person who knows exactly what’s going on — everything sorted and rich in the possibility of desire, everything painful and cheap, cruel and unspoken in the world around her — and it does not scare her.

CLOSE ON CHARLIZE’s mouth, her lips bent in her particular smile, sexy and knowing, a little bit leering, just sweet enough that you feel wont to assume some connection, some secret between you. This is the big trick of sexiness. The big lie. But it’s no trick at all for her. She bites down on the pack of cigarettes and unspools the cellophane with her teeth, a luscious and familiar dissection.

I’ve always thought Charlize was hot, but not the sexiest woman alive by a long shot. The description here is just plain bizzarre. The description goes from literary novel, to romance novel, with a hint of Penthouse forum. The only thing missing is the climax. I suspect this guy dresses in tight restrictive full body leather outfits, with a mask and a zipper where the mouth should be, and spends his free time as a foot stool for his female dominatrix.

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