Britney Spears to Write an Autobiography

Britney Spears has signed a $14 million book deal to write an autobiographical 3 to 5 book series. The books will use Britney’s personal diaries as their source.

Is it really going to take 3 to 5 books to tell us what was going through Britney’s mind when she went crazy last year?

I hope they use some REAL quotes from Britney’s diaries, and I don’t mean, "Had a bad day today," I mean stuff like "Saw a purple dragon today that said if I didn’t snort another line he’d take my kids away. I also shaved my head today because it attracks the bugs that make my skin crawl."

What we will see is a sanitized version of Britney’s diaries. The plan is to write the books as a public relations campaign to rebuild Britney’s image, much like her recent televised documentary. It’ll be all marketing, and no substance.