Britney Spears Runs Over Paparazzi Foot After Losing Her Kids

A spy for Us Weekly reports that while shopping at Neiman Marcus, Britney Spears was overheard saying she hated her judge and that he was an old fart. She said:

"I hate my judge. He is so mean. Just an old fart. He told me I was being catty with him, but he was being catty with me and paid me no respect at all. His job is to sit there and tell people what to do. And that’s just so sad, because he gets off on it."

I’ve always wanted to buy one of those hearing aids so I could hear if people are talking about me, but I figured it wouldn’t be good, and they alread insult me to my face so what’s the point? That judge Britney is bashing will never find out. Wait a minute, it’s on the gossip blogs. Didn’t Paris Hilton’s judge read the gossip blogs and drop the hammer on her?

Britney Spears had all her visitation rights suspended yesterday, because she won’t comply with court orders. Apparently she failed to give the drug testing people contact information so they could reach her for random tests, which violates the court’s order again. TMZ reports:

The order reads, "Petitioner’s (Britney’s) visitation with the minor children is suspended pending Petitioner’s compliance with the court orders … The parenting coach is to submit a report to the court and counsel prior to October 26, 2007."

I thought the other day when Britney failed to show up for court, then barged into the judge’s office half a day late to argue him into one day of visitation a week, that maybe they had a special bond. After reading what Britney said about him in the gossip blogs it looks like that judge had a change of heart. To show Britney how much he appreciates her taking advantage of their new friendship by calling him names, and still ignoring his orders, he won’t let her see her kids until she gets herself straightened out. After all, real friends use tough love.

Britney’s excuse was that she didn’t get the phone calls from the drug testing people, because her cell phone reception is bad in her house. Since she’s never home, can’t she check her voicemail? Remember when she left her kids waiting at the front gate for 45 minutes because she didn’t want a parenting coach watching her, and then blamed it on a faulty gate intercom? That’s Britney. She’s a victim, and everyone else is to blame but her.

After hearing she lost her kids she drove over a paparazzi’s foot with her white mercedes. Britney is wonderful. She always gives us all something to wake up to in the morning. Thanks Britney. XOXO.

Oh yeah, you want to see the video of Britney running over that paparazzi’s foot right? You probably want to see him screaming for mercy as Britney inches her wheel over his foot while she laughs like a wicked wich right? Well then click here to watch the video.