Britney Spears Needs a Bra and Detox Tea

Britney Spears was out partying again with her smashed up white Mercedes, and it looks like she might have parked in a handicap space, or at least 3 feet into one. That’s gonna really piss off the chick who parks there when she goes out to party, which is why she drives a monster truck that she’ll park right on top of Britney’s car. Those bugged out eyes, blue contacts, crap brown hair that hasn’t been washed or combed in days, that too tight silk shirt with grease stains, and those lumpy breasts with nipples that point in opposite directions and rest on Britney’s belly, really get me hot. Britney used to make me puke in my mouth, but now my standards are pretty low, ever since I broke my arms. It’s rough. I can’t adjust myself, so I have to sit on my nuts to type these articles with a pen in my mouth. I don’t mind though. I do it all for you. You’re welcome.