Britney Spears Hates Victoria Beckham

Britney Spears was involved in a paparzzi assault on June 26, and details are still being released. There was a non-emergent call (311) made by a security guard at the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas in which the guard says Britney’s body guard threw one of the paparazzi threw a window, and sustained injuries. Click here to listen to the 311 call. Body guards are like gorillas. You have to look them in the eye, offer them bananas, don’t get too close or make sudden movements, and when they tear your arms off you must stand very still and show no fear.

Britney waddled into the Chateau Marmont the other night, and discovered the only table left was next to Victoria Beckham. Britney refused to sit next to Posh so she threw a fit and went to Il Sole. A source said:

"The Chateau Marmont tries to give celebs their privacy, and they hate her there. They like David, though."

Britney can’t compete with a woman like Posh who knows how to use a fork, and doesn’t fart every time she laughs. The Chateau Marmont loves Britney, and the likes of Lindsay Lohan. Sounds like a halfway house.

US Magazine is still trying to analyze why Britney is so crazy all the time:

“Her erratic behavior has moved into bipolar disorder,” surmises psychologist Dr. Robert Butterworth, who has not treated Spears, 25.

“Your energy level and emotions alternate between highs and lows, and that seems to have happened here.”

Psychologist Robi Ludwig, who also hasn’t treated her, agrees – to a point.

“It seems that Britney has a mood disorder,” she says, acknowledging that the singer’s behavior is “self-destructive, erratic and dramatic,” which could also be symptomatic of drug and alcohol abuse.

She added: "She strikes me as someone going through a delayed adolescence."

Drugs, alcohol abuse, delayed adolescence…whew that’s a big relief. I thought someone might actually blame Britney for her bad behavior and tell her to take personal responsibility. One of these days when Britney does something really bad, like set her kids on fire, we can all take a moment, blames ourselves for pushing her into it, then turn ourselves into the proper authorities to get the help we all desperately need.