Britney Is Confirmed For VMA’s

Us Magazine has confirmed with MTV that whorrendous Brit Brit will, indeed, be the opening act at this Sunday’s MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas. She’ll be singing the song "Gimme More," which is coincidentally what she says when she disappears into the bathroom stalls at clubs.

The pop star collaborated with illusionist Criss Angel, star of A&E’s Mindfreak, on "some of the moments of the performance," says Jesse Ignjatovic, the executive producer of this year’s VMAs. Ignjatovic said it was important to secure Spears, 25, for the big show’s opening number.

In a never-before mindfreakalicious treat, he will get Britney to actually sing instead of lip synch. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!

"I guess, looking back, we’ve had a great history with her," he said. "I wanted to start the show in a very big and dramatic way, and she’s the one to do that. She’ll captivate everyone, and set the tone for the rest of the night. There’s no one better."

Though a Justin Timberlake source tells Us that rumors of a Timberlake/Spears duet are "patently false," fans should still expect to be surprised.

“She’s planning it to be a big comeback performance,” a Spears insider tells Us, adding that the goal is to make it “shocking.”

C’mon, do they actually think we can be shocked by Britney anymore? She could show up in astronaut diapers, a full beard, and give a horse a hummer on stage and we’d all just laugh and say, "Oh Britney!"