Amy Winehouse Vows to Stay Sober

Amy Winehouse recently played a Muffathalle gig in Munich, Germany on Thursday, forgot lyrics and stumbled on stage in Berlin, and was arrested for drug possession in Norway. Amy has vowed to stay sober for the remaining shows. Sources say:

“This tour started pretty much as the last one ended. Berlin was a difficult time for everyone and we thought it was going to turn into another tour full of drunken and missed shows. But she has now said she will not drink before shows for the rest of the tour. She stuck to it in Amsterdam, amazingly, and gave her best show of the tour yet. Everyone just hopes she keeps it up.”

After her shows Amy is still getting smashed, but sobers up enough to do the shows, sometimes. She’s worked out quite a system, until she forgets the bar is not the stage, and the stage is not the bar. I didn’t realize Amy could play guitar. Wait a minute, it’s not real. It’s one of those fake guitars that’s filled with booze. She really had me fooled there. Maybe when her career is officially over in a week, she could apply for a spy position in the Russian secret service. I realize she’s not Russian, but when she’s really drunk, she sounds like she’s speaking Russian, plus the hair.