Amy Winehouse is a Spitter and a Quitter

On Tuesday night Amy Winehouse was onstage crying, and hitting herself in the head with the microphone, then she started spitting on the crowd. After that the crowd grew angry and started leaving.

A witness said, "The gig became absolutely awful. Members of her entourage were coming on to the stage, obviously worried she couldn’t go on, and she would just shout "f_ _ k off" at them. Everyone in the crowd just felt sorry for her."

Her spokesman said, "Amy was annoyed with herself. She is a bit ring rusty after not having played for a while and was upset after making a few mistakes in the set."

It’s a good thing Amy doesn’t perform as a knife thrower. Imagine the crowd reaction if Amy started throwing knives at them, foom foom foom. Ha ha ha! Got your top hat, got your iPod, got your balls.