Alec Baldwin Hosts Elle Women in Hollywood Awards

Alec Baldwin stole the show at the all women Elle Magazine 16th annual Women in Hollywood Awards. Baldwin had the ladies laughing during his entire bit, he said:

"I want to assure you that I didn’t steal this role from a more qualified woman. There was an audition process. The audition required me to move a couch, fall asleep in front of the TV, and open a particularly stubborn jar of pickles… If Tom Cruise would simply lower his quote by a mere $29 million, my salary would not make a difference. My annual salary is the budget for Altoids on one of Tom’s movies."

Alec poked fun at skinny actresses saying:

"Movie actresses are so skinny if I had a love scene I would crush them."

About Renee Zellweger he said:

"She is so tiny, but she’s got a big voice. I’ve been to parties with her and you can hear her voice anywhere, but you can’t understand a word she says."

No one was left spared:

"Tonight the job goes to Julie Andrews. You have three choices: You can follow Robert Pattinson into the men’s room, rush the stage during a Taylor Swift concert and tell her how great Henry Mancini is, or to publicize the Blu-Ray release of The Sound of Music, or you can release one of your own grandchildren in a balloon into the air."

Lindsay Lohan made an appearance, too, as the butt of a Baldwin joke about how DreamWorks executive Jeffrey Katzenberg is one of most powerful men in show business.

"Even more than Lindsay Lohan’s psychiatrist."

In case you’re wondering why Baldwin would take a job of hosting a women’s event, he will work anywhere he can earn a paycheck, even as a Fox News contributor, if they’d pay him for appearing.