Heidi Montag is now taping her nose off for fear it might fall off. Ha ha. She is always coming up with little tid bits to keep us interested in her.

This week Heidi talked about massaging her implants to keep them soft. There’s nothing natural feeling about implants, they really suck when it comes to functionality.

I’m trying to figure out which is Heidi’s better side. The front doesn’t look too bad, but the messed up face, and obvious surgical enhancements seem like she’s trying too hard. Heidi’s backside has always been her best asset, and it seems to be getting bigger by the day. I guess she might be gaining some weight now that she doesn’t have to run from Spencer anymore.

Miley Cryus looked wasted in Paris while clubbing on Sunday evening during a break from filming LOL. I didn’t just spit out some Internet lingo, that’s the name of the movie LOL.

At first glance Miley was looking drunk, but it must have just been her drowsy eyed blinking. The next shot revealed something more in character for teenager Miley, and that is being half dressed in a crowd full of adults, which she is not, but wishes she was. This girl is going to really let loose when she hits 18 years-old, but 21 will be when the fireworks go off.

Sean Penn has certainly gotten much uglier as he has aged. In this picture where he is wearing a wig, eye liner, lip stick, and ear rings, he resembles a woman in her fifties or sixties who has had the emotion flattening procedure called a hysterectomy. Suffering from a dry vag, lack of joy, and bitterness, Penn wears his drag face well.

Angelina Jolie is the UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador, so she visited Pakistan on Tuesday because there are flood victims there.

Imagine a woman like Jolie who enjoys money, power, and women’s rights going to Pakistan only to be forced to wear a veil and be treated as a second class citizen.

Jolie only does this for the media attention, otherwise she’d choose a much more private route to make a contribution to people in need. She is embarrassing herself in pictures like this though, especially putting herself in such a degrading situation for someone with her freedom elsewhere in the world.

Dwayne Johnson (38), aka The Rock, hit the gym in Los Angeles. He is currently filming The Fast and the Furious 5.

He looks like he’s bigger than when he was younger. Whatever he’s drinking, it’s working.